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Saturday, 3 July 2010

Looking Back

When I walked through the doors of LST, late September, laden with bags and flanked by my Mum and Dad - I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Yes, I had dreamed and planned and fought to get to LST; it was what I had wanted for over five years. Becoming an LST student was, quite literally a dream come true.
Over the past nine months, I have come to realise that LST is somewhat unique. One of our lecturers described it quite early on as a kind of monastic community, and I'm inclined to agree with him. It is the most infuriating, wonderful, painful, exciting, difficult, insane and amazing place I have ever had the pleasure to be a part of.
The difficulties of my first few weeks have been well-documented, and I am amazed every time I look back to that first week, how far God has brought me, the work He has done in me and through me. In committee meetings over the past month we have been discussing freshers week and in particular, committee on the couch. Committee on the Couch for me, is one of the only clear memories I have of freshers week. It occurred to me, that when I return I will be one of those people that the Freshers will see first - I will be the one among friends, who knows her way around and feels relaxed because it's home. If I can be as nice to the freshers as everyone was to me - I know I'll have done my job well! 
As corny and cliched as it sounds, being at LST has changed me. The love of the people, who allow God to shine through them, the things I have learnt both inside and outside the lecture rooms, the times when I have had a revelation of who God is, and who I am as a creation of Him have turned my world upside down. It's been painful, but amazing. 
I hope I have retained some of the person I arrived as, but I know that I have changed immeasurably - I think it's called growing up...
I still have lots to learn; about God, the world we live in and myself. 
It excites me to see the people I am living and working with, be healed and transformed by the work of God in their lives. It excites me that I've got two whole years left. It excites me that I get to meet more amazing people and grow closer to those I know already. It excites me that God will do more in me and that he will continue to draw me closer. 
It is still strange to me, to be so excited by the future; undoubtedly wonderful but I still find it odd to be living in the present and having hope for the future. It is something I hope I will never take for granted. 
So for now, I'm going to return to the present, which happens to be a beautiful house in the heart of cornwall.

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